I believe, therefore I hope
I’ve been thinking about the correlation between belief and hope.
I recently saw a TikTok of a Christian discussing The Great Flood mentioned in the Old Testament. You know the one. Where Noah feels called by God to build an Ark to save his family and animals from the pending punishment God would be sending in the way of a flood that wipes out humanity? Yeah, that one.
This person was beaming as he celebrated the alleged destruction of our species. He was smiling while painting the picture of floating baby corpses. I couldn’t believe what I was watching. I won’t give the link because this monster deserves no more attention than he’s already getting, though I'm sure you'll look for it now. I will, however, point you to the hilarious account from where I found it: look up w8ing4guffman.
Anyway. I then began thinking about the Evangelical belief in eternal hell, or eternal damnation. The Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20), combined with John 3:16, speaks to what Evangelical Christians feel is their call to bring Salvation to the world. They view the world as evil and humans as innately sinful and in need of a Savior. That’s the entire schtick of the religion: we are bad and we need saved so that we don’t go to hell. Sure, some Christians are fueled by the teachings of Christ to love and act according to their faith in that love. But for the most part, the plot has been lost or twisted. Perhaps this is the difference between christian extremists and followers of Christ? I dunno.
Continuing on. Working in surrogacy and assisted reproduction, I have conversations daily with Intended Parents discussing why they want to become parents. Why they want to bring a child into this world. It’s usually based in increasing the love in their life through expanding their family. It’s quite beautiful and restores my faith in humanity as a whole.
But why would Evangelicals choose to bring a child into this world, through what we call “natural procreation?” Why bring that soul into a world you view as evil? Why bring that human into this world when they are innately sinful in your eyes, just by being born? WHY? Do they like the challenge of seeing if they can “save” their own offspring? That’s a mighty high risk you're taking for your own flesh and blood.
I don’t want to speculate too much on the “why” because that will send me into a dark spiral and I already fight that trajectory on the daily thanks to the world around me. But it did make me think about belief versus hope and the depraved TikTok’er boasting about babies effectively killed by God.
His believe inspires his hope. Let me explain. He believes in God’s punishment, so he hopes for God’s punishment. It’s what makes him feel validated by being a Believer. By his thinking, his hope is in his salvation and his salvation comes by his belief. He wins by others losing. Whether or not an Evangelical actually admits that they have hope for God’s punishment is null and void. They hope for it simply by believing in it. FYI - that’s where a lot of trauma comes from for folks deconstructing the faith they were born into.
But that's not what this post is about. Rather than perpetuate the anger most feel towards these capitalistic, extremist faith systems, I want to put a positive, real-world spin on this concept of belief and hope. A takeaway, if you will. That is what this post is about.
I’m recovering from a recent heartbreak. I met someone IRL (apparently that’s still a thing and apparently some folks actually have issues around the validity of that. Who knew?). I fell hard. And quick. I haven’t had feelings for another man in about 5 years. I didn’t know I could feel those things again and was floored when this man inspired an arousal in me I had given up on. Romantically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally, creatively. Everything-ally. It turned out to not be mutual, and I’m still trying to figure out how one can so safely fall for someone who isn’t falling with you, but that’s a blog for another time.
Anyway, I’ve been hurting hard. Deeply dark. How can such a new emotion take such a heavy toll on me? I guess that’s the power of love (cue Celine Dion. And vomit). But as I was watching this terrible video and being devastated thinking about a large portion of humanity hoping for its demise, I realized something. While I was feeling hopeless coming off this heartbreak, it’s because I stopped believing in the very existence of romantic love when I learned that he didn’t believe in what I believed. I let someone else’s belief, or lack thereof, determine my belief. So when I stopped believing in love, I stopped hoping for love.
But after a couple weeks of feeling hopeless, I am now able to see that I’m actually not hopeless. I believe in romantic love. I see it all the time. I see it in my parents. I see it in my brother and sister-in-law. I see it in many friends - gay, straight, and otherwise. It’s impact is felt all over the world. I believe in it. And as a result, I have hope for it.
I turn 38 in a couple weeks and I feel so far behind “everyone else” in life. That comparison is a debilitating feeling. It paralyzes whatever forward motion I have otherwise.
But I’m able to use this new awareness in other areas of my life: Belief equals hope. I believe in success so I have hope in my success. I believe in provision so I have hope in my provision. I believe in me so I have hope in me. I believe in evolving so I have hope in my evolving.
I’m going to try to implement this idea into my life when dealing with hopeless beliefs. If I can work from a place of "belief equals hope," I think I will see a change in how I process obstacles and pain. I know it will be an active work. And time will tell if this is a successful strategy for the things I want to experience in this life.
But for now… I believe, therefore I hope.
And I hope you will too.
(See? Religion can be used for good. I observed the awful behavior of a religious extremist, and in turn learned a valuable lesson about hope. Maybe Jesus was right after all!)